“Be true to yourself.” It’s a timeworn expression, but for Nathan Harmon those words became his lifelong mantra after the fateful evening of July 17, 2009 when the car he was driving while drunk crashed into a tree, killing a female companion in the passenger seat.

At the age of 23, Harmon was sentenced to 15 years in prison. He was released after four years and re-entered society determined to make a difference in the world. Now more than ten years sober, Harmon is an international speaker and the founder of Your Life Speaks, dedicated to educating people of all ages to overcome their adversities.

In a virtual All-School Meeting on March 3, Harmon shared his impactful story with the community as part of the Student Wellness Committee programming. His message to students was simple and direct: It’s okay to not be okay. Be transparent. Be vulnerable. Addressing emotional health issues early can prevent making poor choices later.

So many young people gravitate toward substance abuse or other harmful habits because they are fearful of showing their vulnerability, of talking about their hurt and pain, Harmon said.

“We all long to be connected, to be a community, but trauma can break trust and then we begin to protect ourselves to hold it all together.”

He urged students to take off their masks, (figuratively speaking), and communicate with people who care, listen, and offer guidance toward making good choices.

Jodi von Jess, P’19, director of counseling, said Harmon used his own personal experiences to highlight the importance of being open and discussing mental health and substance use, and shared his story in a way that resonated with the students.

Growing up, Harmon experienced a series of emotional blows after his parents divorced when he was 12. He had been an “A” student and a top athlete, but when his trauma began to snowball, the pressure led him toward suicidal thoughts, self-harming behavior, alcohol and substance abuse, bulimia, and eventually jail.

“I know in Hotchkiss you're very structured to an extreme. I get it,” he said.

“But the more you learn to address yourself mentally and emotionally and find healthy releases, the more it is going to alleviate the pressure. So when you turn around and after a few years and you’re done with Hotchkiss and you’re on to the next chapter and you’re doing epic, amazing, unbelievable stuff, you’ll be able to put it all into perspective.”

After a Q and A following the presentation, students debriefed with their dorm pod members. In the evening, students participated in optional discussions facilitated by student leaders. Topics included reducing the stigma in the school community, boarding school mental health do’s and don’ts, appropriate language, and how to set a good example of proper mental health.  

Nadia Puente ’21, a proctor in Memo, said the way Harmon spoke about the topics of mental health and the effects of drugs and alcohol with such an open heart left a lasting impression on all students.

“In the debrief with my floor, my proctees were highly impacted by Nathan’s message about taking off our ‘mask’ and embracing our truest self to the world, especially at Hotchkiss.”